Dear George,
Do you ever find yourself arguing with yourself over something silly? For instance, you're watching a documentary on Netflix at 11 pm and you have to be up early the next day. And in your mind a thought comes that says "I should go to bed." And then you argue and say "this thing I'm watching is really interesting." And then you think "but it's Netflix, I can watch it tomorrow." And then you argue and say "but I don't want to watch it tomorrow" (insert foot stomp here).
Do you ever do that?
I had a friend tell me that whenever she finds herself arguing with herself like that she has realized it's the Holy Spirit talking to her. Maybe not in words like that, but maybe in impressions we turn into words.
So lately I've been trying to recognize when I'm doing it and step back in the middle of my internal argument and figure out which side is me, and which side might be the Holy Spirit (the foot stomp usually gives it away). Then I think about whatever it is the opposing side is telling me and see if it brings me peace. If it does, or if it's just good advice or common sense and it feels right then I stop arguing and do it. Most of the time anyways, I'm still very stubborn and willful. But I'm working on it.
So then when I decide the Holy Spirit is right, I usually say in my head "you're right, you're right" and I swear sometimes the thought crosses my mind "I know I'm right." like told you so, only not snarky and mean about it. Feels more indulgent and kind than...well nah nanny boo boo is the phrase that comes to mind.
I don't know if that's just me taking things further in my head than the Holy Spirit intends, or if he really is like "I know I'm right and things would be a lot easier for you if you'd realize that more often." Either way George, it's really cool. And I'm hoping and praying I can get better at this conversation I seem to be having. In my head... I swear I'm not crazy. :-)
Night George.
S
