Understanding

Dear George,

So there's this song I like by Miranda Lambert (I think it's by her, I'm terrible with remembering who sings what). I think it's called "a heart like mine" or something like that.

Anyways, the basic premise of the song is the singer is not a perfect person, and who is? But they think Heavenly Father and Jesus will understand. The lyric that bothers me goes something like -

I heard Jesus he drank wine,
And I bet we'd get along just fine,
He healed the sick and cured the blind,
And I bet he'd understand a heart like mine

So then in the verses the singer talks about things she does that other people might think are wrong. Tattoos, smoking, drinking, etc...but according to the chorus Jesus will understand all these things so it's ok. And He (or someone) will meet her at the pearly gates with "two long stemmed glasses" and make a toast to her coming home.

George, I'm totally not disputing that Jesus and Heavenly Father will understand her heart. I think they will because she's a child of God and he loves her. But understanding her and forgiving her actions are two very different things.

I have a friend I grew up with who introduced me to the Church. She is going through some terrible things now, her marriage has fallen apart (not really her fault, her husband seemingly was cheating on her since before they were married) and she is very unhappy. She used to be very active in the Church, and she was endowed.

I spoke to her about how I'm going to be endowed in May and I wanted her to be there. She told me she couldn't, that she has made choices that won't allow her to go to the Temple. To be honest, I knew this, but I was hoping she might start the repentance process and come back to where she belongs. She is soooo unhappy right now, she needs her community and the Spirit and to be reminded she's a daughter of God and He loves her.

She said she doesn't want to come back. I asked her if she wasn't worried about eternal consequences. Ok so that sounds terrible but I didn't ask her like that. We had a whole long conversation. And I asked her because I'M worried about eternal consequences for her. It would be horrible if she is this unhappy in this life, and then because of choices she has made she is unhappy in the next life. It sounds like I'm judging her, and maybe I am to a small extent. But mainly I am worried about her.

She basically told me what that song says. Only in her case it was more along the lines of Heavenly Father knows how much she's gone through and how much she's hurting and He'll understand and forgive her. That she doesn't need to change or go through the repentance process. And I'm not sure but I think she doesn't feel bad or whatever for the choices she has made. She feels they were...maybe necessary, and excusable.

I love her, and I KNOW Heavenly Father loves her. But I think if we make choices that lead us to sin, Heavenly Father has two options. Either we take the gift we were given in the atonement and repent and become clean, or we are subject to justice, without mercy. I KNOW that Heavenly Father wants each of us to return to Him, but we all have to use the atonement to get there.

This whole thing is a dangerous idea the world has right now that just because Heavenly Father loves us, and understands our hearts and minds, that he will justify any action we take based on that understanding.

My friend saved my life by introducing me to the Church (literally saved my life, but that's a story for another day). How can I help her now? Without alienating her or making it seem like I'm judging her? How can I show her I LOVE her and she seems to be lost and I wouldn't bother her about her choices if I didn't care about her?

I don't know how George. Any ideas?

-S


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